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Whats the most stupid question you have ever been asked?

by barrycoleridge 3 months ago
Last updated 2 months ago.

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I was sat on a bench in a local park today when someone carrying a can of kestrel lager,a copy of the daily star and a packet of tobacco sat down,someone else had thrown some bread down for the birds,"whats that" he asked referring to the bread,have you ever been asked a stupid question?,is it only stupid people who ask stupid questions?

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Replies

  1. AR-Tony Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    `Don’t you think we take life too seriously?’

  2. Willow Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    I was at home and my wife rang me from her work place and said "where are you"

    Typical woman

  3. Lazarus Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    I occasionally buy a sausage McMuffin when the urge arrises. One morning I approached the counter and place my order, and the capitalist slave replies: "Is that a meal?"

  4. black Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    "what do you teach?"

    to which I reply

    "children"

  5. theagitator Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Question- ‘Where were you when your photo was taken’ Answer- In front of the camera’.

  6. Lazarus Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    While swimming in Treadre Bay a friend shouts out, "What’s the water like?"

  7. BobM Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    I’m upstairs…..yell to wife…."where’s me best shirt love"?......answer…."upstairs".....Doh.

  8. HarryDownes Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    My youngest Grand-daughter was examining a bottle of Mineral Water and she turned and said to me,"Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date?" I thought what a stupid question to ask and then I thought again-hey that’s not so stupid.

  9. AR-Tony Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    In Tescos, (sorry Laz) "Are any of these black shirts in different colours?"

    Harry, that girl will go far.

  10. BobCarter Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    In Galton & Simpsons film The Rebel (1961) aspiring artist Tony Hancock is threatened with eviction by his landlady Mrs Crevatte (Irene Handl?)after she discovers him at work on his great masterpiece of a sculpture Aphrodite referred to by her as that ‘great lump’. On seeing a painting of Hancock on the the wall she asks ‘what’s that?’. Hancock replies,’A self-portrait’. ‘Who of?’ she asks! Brilliant!

  11. Colombo Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    My brother, for some reason which escapes me, wanted to buy a bra for his fiance.

    The shop assistant asked "What bust?".

    My brother replied "Nothing. It just wore out".

  12. AR-Tony Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    My pal asked about a heavy work coat,`Is it hard wearing? ’ The assistant asked why? He replied,`I don’t want to wear it out too soon.’ The assistant drily said, `Why not wait, stop in for another month then and buy a lighter one for summer?’

  13. BobCarter Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    I visited a friend one day and she was listening to the radio. A record had got stuck. I suggested she tap the radio and she did. Doh!

  14. bobsbar Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    we get calls at work asking whens the earliest we can do an mot. when we tell them we then get asked if theres anything earlie!

  15. Colombo Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Do you go to the same schools as cobblers?

    ".... should be ready sometime next week….". :-)

  16. Lazarus Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    While travelling past Toys R Us in the car, a [former] girlfriend asks, "What does the R stand for?"

  17. MikeCovell Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    My sister once asked "Are there 2 sun’s?, because the one is Spain is hotter!"

    A former work colleague once asked "Who origionally put the water in the sea?"

    I was working at a hardware store and someone called and asked "Do you sell pre-honed chisles" My workmate replied, "No, all our stuff is brand new!"

  18. MikeCovell Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    And I will get this one in before my mother does!

    When I was a child I was helping at a jumble sale and at the end we had some plants left over. I was told by the gron ups to go and ask an old lady if she would like a free plant.

    I walked over and asked, "Excuse me lady, would you like an old plant?"

  19. AR-Tony Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Reading one of Colombo’s replies on `Brits In Space’ posting I was reminded of this exchange…

    Having already signed the Official Secrets Act, I was surprised to be asked to sign again. I asked, `If I sign it twice does that mean you may then shoot me twice?’ He replied, `The economies we have, they don’t get a lot of practice!’

  20. Colombo Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Strangely enough, I had to sign it a second time, 32 years later, in another job.

  21. Colombo Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Reaching under my desk to retrieve a pencil, I’ve just cracked my head as I straightened up. Before anybody asks, yes, it did hurt.

  22. MikeCovell Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    When you come in wet and people ask….."Is it raining?"

  23. Colombo Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    In black and white TV days, when there was only one channel, a team of former Oxford students had a programme in which they took the mickey out of gullible by-standers.

    One bright sunny day, one of them had a bucket of water poured over him, and then walked into a shop in Oxford and asked if they sold umbrellas. You should have seen the look on the shop assistant’s face. After the sale, he went to the door and peeked out with the most puzzled expression.

  24. Lazarus Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    While driving back from a job in London we stopped to assist a chap who had broken down. When asked what the trouble was, the chap replied he didn’t have the first clue about engines. Fast asleep in the front seat was his wife. Alan told the man to lift the bonnet, and after a few minutes the chap found the lever, so Alan could look into the matter.

    After another few minutes Alan shouts with his head under the bonnet, "Turn her over". After a short while angry shouting could be heard from the car, and Alan lifted his head to see the chap with his hands all over his missus.

  25. black Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    is this recorded live?

    er…..... yes! everything is RECORDED LIVE!!!

  26. black Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    "is there anything else I can help you with today?"

    I hate being asked this, after I’ve been on the phone for an hour to a utility..

  27. mimi Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    I work in a supermarket and a customer asked me if we keep the frozen chickens in the freezer.

  28. mimi Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Or when some one rings your house phone and asks where you are

  29. black Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    hah mimi, or asks if you are in!

  30. YourMailWill Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    I suppose that comes from getting used to ringing people on mobiles, and not knowing where they are. Obviously ringing a fixed landline, you should be able to tell where they are, but it’s an easy mistake to make.

    It annoys me when I receive a marketing/sales call from a person who says "You will be very interested in this offer…" which I invariably am not. They’ve eased off recently, but when we first moved, I got about 4 or 5 calls a week, asking for the previous occupant. When I told them she no longer lived at this address, they thought about it for a second, and launched into their spiel anyway.

  31. black Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    hah Will, I get calls like that 4 or 5 times a day. I registered with a website to apparently stop it happening but it continues, always asking for the previous occupant, I’ve been in this house 2 years now and it’s still happening! Another bugbear (what an ace! word) is junk mail.. I’m not kidding here I get about 3 pizza leaflets a day!!! it’s incredible… my blue recycle bin is right outside my front door now.. so as soon as i see them coming i just open the lid.. it’s unreal..

  32. MikeCovell Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    The wife was playing on the Nintendo Wii last night during the thunderstorm and she put the pad down. "If we get struck will I get a shock through the wires?" she asked,

    "Erm no dear, it’s wireless!" I laughed!

  33. gecko2 Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Whilst working in a certain supermarket would often send new starters to other departments to ask for things.

    "Eh Tony, just pop down the warehouse for a bucket of steam?"

    "Stuart, we’re going need some beef curtains from the butchers. Go get it lad."

    "Dave, we’ve got a strip light out again, go and ask grocery if they have a spare fallopian tube"

    "Steve, get a left handed screwdriver from the toolbox."

    And the best one ever….

    "Danny, go get some angry custard from the cake shop, it’s good for sticking prices to boxes, and don’t come back til you got some." – He never came back for over an hour.

  34. MikeCovell Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    "Go ask for a long stand"

    "Go ask for a bucket of 1 inch holes"

    And the old "Tartan Paint!"

  35. BobCarter Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Or when the phone rings and someone else in the household asks, ‘Who’s that?’ before you’ve even picked it up!

  36. Colombo Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    A company in Hull did make a ‘spotted’ paint named ‘Portaflek’.

  37. YourMailWill Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    .. popular in toilets in institutional buildings such as school and hospitals

  38. Colombo Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    and in The Carlton cinema. :-)

  39. barrycoleridge Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    whos that Bob?

  40. BobCarter Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    How do I know, Barry, I haven’t picked up the phone yet!

  41. barrycoleridge Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    denise

  42. Lazarus Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    What’s wrong with your niece barry?

  43. mysti Submitted 2 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Has Barry hurt his knees?

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