All Yours

The Circle

by TheBreaker 4 months ago in group Creative Writing
Last updated 3 months ago.

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This is a story I have been working on for a while, I’m not going to explain what its about because that’s too hard. Instead I’m just going to post random parts of it as they come to me, some may not appear in the Circle series but be side stories of other characters if even that.

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  1. Bob

    TheBreaker Submitted 4 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Johnny was a helpful boy, you know the boy in class that couldn’t help but smile. Everyone would mention his smile from the girl who paid him too much attention to the bully wondering what he could do to take it away. He didn’t have lots of friends but the ones he did he wouldn’t swap for the world. He wasn’t the most intelligent in fact he struggled with reading and writing, although he didn’t let that get him down. He never won the 100 meters nor was outstanding at any sport. Maybe that’s why he felt little attention from the girls, except that one but surely she was just being friendly. In any case if she did like him then she was clearly a nerd or something of equal un-coolness. Despite all that Johnny was happy just being, the boy with the everlasting smile.

  2. Dsc00025

    TheBreaker Submitted 4 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    10 years later and Johnny found himself sitting on his doorstep staring at his feet. That expression that wasn’t a smile, but it wasn’t a frown it could only be described as emptiness. No one said that anymore, no one mentioned his smile no one remembered he had a smile. Not even that girl who was now married whom Johnny had failed to catch. Failing to catch the fish that jumps on your lap you could blame no one but yourself. But that wasn’t the only reason Johnny wasn’t smiling, he had been through worse in the past and smiled on.

  3. Rosy Submitted 4 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    I love the style Johnny. Are you thinking of writing it as a book or a short story for a magazine and how much have you written so far? I really like it. I love the continuity and the ‘smile’ draws you in. I would say from reading that, I’d like to know what happened and what is going to happen. Best wishes. Rosy

  4. TheBreaker Submitted 4 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Hi Rosy.

    Thanks for your comments it’s nice just knowing that it’s been read.

    I have written about five chapters, so yes it’s meant to be an epic novel if I ever finish it. The parts on here aren’t even in the book itself, but I like writing little bits like this it gives me the right motivation for each character. I tell you what I will post the prologue and the first chapter on here for you but that’s the best I can do publicly.

    Story wise it’s really hard to explain possible because everything seems to influence me I just hope it doesn’t end up with too much going on in it.

    But basically it is about a young man trying to find out who he is and where he fits in. It’s set in about ten years, oil supplies are at an all time low and unemployment is at a high. The war on terror has been kicked up a notch and America has a new ambitious President.

  5. Rosy Submitted 4 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Hi Johnny,

    I believe that any story about people trying to find out who they are and where they fit in are good, because that’s what we are all about, and it’s always good to read how other people manage life in certain situations.

    I look forward to reading the rest you put on this site.

    Let me know how you get on and what you are going to do about getting it published.

    Best wishes,

    Rosy

  6. TheBreaker Submitted 4 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Enjoy

    Prologue (Solution?)

    Sitting outside the President’s office at the White House was one man with the answer to a global problem. The breakthrough solution that would change the world was minutes away from the first steps of becoming reality. Professor Hartsholme a tall skinny grey haired man with a scruffy beard was waiting to see the President he was only just able to contain his excitement and could barely sit still. It was late afternoon in mid winter the sky was a dull black canvas that contrasted with the glistening white snow on the ground, and the huge white iconic structure. It was a very cold day, as the Professor knew only too well. Earlier that day he had failed to dress correctly rushing around with giddy anticipation after receiving the inviting call. He regretted this once out side when the cold hit him, but he was far too exited to let that bother him. Finally his years of hard work was going to pay off, he had done his part for the world. Now my family will understand why I’ve spent my time on this instead of on them. He had only met the President once before when at a conference with Americas top scientists, talking about alternative fuel research. The government was funding Professor Hartsholme’s work and the President was full of enthusiasm for his work. Professor Hartsholme could feel his proudest moment, no his legacy approaching. He had just spent the last hour taking the Presidents Aid through his papers and noted the delight of the Aid. The Presidents Aid was a small fat balding man in his 50s his mannerisms clothes everything else about him reminded of an older time. After looking at the papers he told the Professor take a seat, as the President would see him soon.

    He was waiting for about twenty minutes when he was told to proceed in to the Presidents office. A middle-aged woman about 5ft 5 wearing a suit, showed him to the door. The door was big and thick as to keep in noise the Professor noticed. Slowly as the doors opened he saw President Phillip Williamson of the United States of America appear, behind his desk. “Here is Professor Hartsholme as you requested sir,” said the women in the suit. Then she started to close the door behind her as she left. “Welcome Professor Hartsholme its good to see you again,” said the President as he stood and held out his hand. “Its an honour to be here Sir,” replied the Professor, walking over then shaking his hand. The office was as expected very posh and the Presidents table was neat and organised. From the large window behind the desk you could see the houses gardens. The professor could not help but look out into the snowy wilderness. There where two security cameras high up on the walls looking down opposite each other. “Sit down please Professor,” said the President. The president was 38 and in his first term at the white house, he was 6ft and apart from a few silver hairs had brown hair, he was known for having a short fuse but this did not stop him from winning his place in the white house. The path that got him there was clouded in mystery; I don’t think any one man knows the full extent of his tricks that brought him to power. The Professor sat down and the President remained standing. “I’m very impressed with your progress Professor you have put us well ahead of the competition,” the president started. Hartshome wasn’t sure what he meant by competition but stayed quiet as the President continued. “You will go down in history for this and will be seen as an American hero when this goes on the public market, but of course that is some time away.” Professor Hartshome’s face dropped. “But you will be a rich man a lot sooner than that, the money my armed forces will save will see to that. Now with this fuel and the geographical mobility advantage no army or terrorist organisation can stand in my way!” The Professor got up on his feet; he could not believe what he was hearing. He had worked long and hard for the people suffering in the slums so they could have a better standard of life. Only the rich could afford fuel and people were fighting and dying for it, he didn’t understand why this could not start helping people now. He spoke with shock, “What do you mean? The citizens of your country need this now. The country can start to change back to the way it was before the oil crisis!” The President turned and looked out his window, “ If we release this to the public now other countries will get hold of it and we will lose our advantage. This gives us the chance to crush our enemies and no terrorist threat will ever bother us again, we cannot throw that away.” “You mean theirs still a lot of money to be made from oil and for this you will let your country suffer,” the Professor started to shake a little arguing with the President wasn’t some ting he was used to. “Your forgetting who your talking to Professor, there will be a lot of money coming your way, that you need not worry, he said turning back to face the Professor” “I do not care for money, science is an open source industry and preventing others form knowing what I have found will reduce the speed of further discovery.” “Well fortunately for me it’s not for you to decide.” “I know what this is about,” Shouted the Professor the anger building up in him, “I wont play a part in your war crimes or help with your greed!” The president sat down and calmly said, “You are talking to the President of the United States of America, my dear Professor you don’t have a choice.” “I don’t take kindly to threats, the public will know the truth,” replied the Professor as he turned and hurried out of the office. The President was disappointed he knew the professor’s intelligence could have come in very handy. He reached across his desk and picked up his mobile phone, he then dialled a number and it was answered almost immediately. “Tony, I’m sorry to be saying this take care of him.” The President said and then put down the phone.

    Tony Sklar was 38 years old, 6ft 3 with short brown hair. Tony was a calm man known to have a clear head, he had be in the CIA for nine years before being asked by the President him self to lead the PO. The Presidents Own (PO) was established to perform special duties requested straight from the President, any thing from secrete missions to last line defence is on the menu for PO officers. Other PO officers included the Special Forces, Marine Corps, Navy SEALs and the like. Tony had followed the Professor from the White House; he had tailed him for twenty minutes by car. His orders where to capture and contain Professor Hartsholme before he reaches his home, and with out being seen. He had travelled far enough away from the white house and into a rundown area of the city, he decided it was now time to stop the Professor. The streets were dark and the road icy Tony noted as he decided on his course of action; his driven skills were 1st class and he knew how to take a car off the road with a slight touch. The road was clear, no one wanted to be out in this weather if they could help it so Tony took the opportunity and put his foot down to get in touching distance of the Professor. Within no time he was right behind and moved his car on to the left side of the road, he then nudged the back corner of the Professor’s car with his front and sent his car spinning across the road. The car slid into the curb on the left side of the road and stopped halfway on the pavement. Tony jumped out of his car and went across to the other car; the Professor had already left the car and was making this way down a side street. The Professor new the president might try something like this so didn’t hesitate to run. Tony followed him and pulled his gun out of his chest holster, “stop! I have no problem with killing you if I need to.” The Professor stopped and turned around, “You wont get my technology working without me and I’m not coming alive. So its your choice.” The professor said panicking. A muffled gunshot fired out into the night.

  7. Rosy Submitted 4 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Hi Johnny, Just to let you know that I’ve just got back off holiday, so I’ll read this later and get back to you.

    Did you see us in the paper on Saturday? A piece about what was written on the Your Mail site, I didn’t realise they did that. It is worth a look.

    Rosy

  8. TheBreaker Submitted 4 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Hope you had a good time.

    I have just looked at saturdays paper some how missed it first time round. Thats a nice suprise.

  9. TheBreaker Submitted 4 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    It’s a far cry from the problems of Johnny, but I always like a prologue that asks question that aren’t answered to the end of the story.

  10. Dsc00344

    TheBreaker Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    This is Johnny and Christen, she doesn’t come into the story till about the end of the 3rd chapter.

  11. Rosy Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    I’ve finally got around to reading your piece.

    It’s great. I love it. It:-

    -draws you in

    -has suspense

    -gets you thinking

    -leaves you wanting more

    -has good style, what I call intricate as opposed to broad.

    Taken out of context I think it is very good and I would be interested in seeing the finished product.

    What does anyone else think?

    Hope you have a publisher in mind.

    Rosy

  12. TheBreaker Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    Thanks for taking the time to read it, it means a lot to me.

    You have helped my confidence with writing no end.

  13. Rosy Submitted 3 months ago Unsuitable Content? Report it!

    You’re welcome. I think it is difficult reading something in isolation, but I must admit, I was hooked on that. It reminded me of how I felt when I was reading the beginning of Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons. The same sort of suspense as ‘oh my God, what’s going to happen now.’ I love books that you just can’t put down, because you need to know what is happening. All the best,

    Rosy

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